A Body Master named Choo Choo.

I can't belive it's taken me this long to post this, but I was hanging out downtown last weekend at the Sidebar when a local vagrant pulled up on his bike.  I figured, whatever, another local vagabond who lives in the woods and likes to drink downtown. 

Wrong.  This was no average bum.  This was Choo Choo, the Body Master.  He pulled up and made the sound of a train whistle.  He actually made his voice do an interval (two notes at the same time).

We didn't pay much attention to him at first, he just sat at the bar and drank.  Then, after a few minutes, he came towards us.  I was telling the guys in Clock Hands Strangle how he made the coolest noise, so I called him over to make the noise. 

Now, let me draw this character for you.  he was approximately 70 years old, had a Santa Clause beard, and crazy bushy eyebrows that curled up to look like horns. 

So, after telling him that we wouldn't give him a dollar to make the noise, he went ahead and did "half" of it. 

At this point, he took the time to let us know that he was a Body Master.  I asked him why he couldn't have achieved a level higher than Master.

He then offered to adjust my spine. 

I politely declined, but upon seeing that he really meant to adjust my spine, I backed up to the wall.

He then told us that his sensei trained Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris (who I politely informed him was "The Karate Commando").

He also told us that he got shot 17 times in Vietnam and was actually in a body bag when he came to

He then told us a really bad, obscene joke, and choo choo'd his way out the door.

I wish this was fresher in my mind, b/c it would be so much funnier.